Delights & Shadows

Blog title borrowed from poet Ted Kooser

Hello!

Sep 15
  • Me: Did you play on the playground today?
  • Luci: Yes, and I got a mosquito bite, look.
  • Me: Oh, man!
  • Luci: I'm not a man. I'm a little girl.

Sep 13
San Francisco! No kids! Trip sponsored by a wedding invitation, airline miles, saying YES to life, and Gaga & Grandpa, who are minding the munchkins in Miami.

San Francisco! No kids! Trip sponsored by a wedding invitation, airline miles, saying YES to life, and Gaga & Grandpa, who are minding the munchkins in Miami.


Sep 10

Is it weird that I just ordered a wheat grass shot and a coffee at the same time?


Sep 9
“It’s messing people up, this social pressure to “find your passion” and “know what it is you want to do”. It’s perfectly fine to just live your moments fully, and marvel as many small and large passions, many small and large purposes enter and leave your life. For many people there is no realization, no bliss to follow, no discovery of your life’s purpose. This isn’t sad, it’s just the way things are. Stop trying to find the forest and just enjoy the trees.” Sally Coulter (via clarewhatever)

(via caliazuk)


Helpers

Helpers


Sep 6
The top half of Saturday night

The top half of Saturday night


Liquor store shoe shot. It must be Saturday night.

Liquor store shoe shot. It must be Saturday night.


Sep 5

The kids’ school encourages the older siblings, at drop off, to take the younger siblings by the hand and walk them to their classrooms. I love that. Especially after a morning like the one we just had, which was, let’s just say, not pleasant. Seeing that is like a reset.


Sep 1

Aug 28
Mirror shot with L when we got home from the hospital today. In sickness and in HEALTH. Love you, Darlin.

Mirror shot with L when we got home from the hospital today. In sickness and in HEALTH. Love you, Darlin.


Done!

Around noon today my awesome plastic surgeon switched out my temporary implants for my forever boobs. Luis said that when he came to talk to him afterwards he was really happy with the result. I’m so excited to see them when I change the bandages tomorrow. AND they took out my port!

Happy.


Aug 23

Young love

Last year, in the toddler classroom at his school, Diego had his first crush. It was serious business. He and Valentina were peasinapod all year. When it came time to choose pre-school classrooms, we chose Yellow Door for D and they chose Aqua Door for V. We didn’t see her over the summer. One morning last week—the first week of school—we ran into her in the courtyard. D lit up like a thousand-watt bulb. That evening, when he and I lay in his bed talking about his day at school, I asked him if he played on the playground. “No, Mami,” he said. “I didn’t play on the playground because I was standing at the fence looking and looking for Valentina.”


Relevant to the quote I posted a few days ago, about clinging to old ways of being that do not serve us and/or are destructive, I’ve been focusing on paying attention to my internal chatter. Wow, what a bitch I am to myself! I’m so hard on myself, it’s crazy. Another crazy thing is that so many of us are. I’ve started noticing when I put myself down, and I change direction and talk to myself the way I would talk to anyone I love. I do this when I’m frustrated with other people, too. I think, “What is the loving thing to do right now?” Man, it’s a game changer.


Aug 20
“As uncomfortable as our life might be, as painful or even desperate at times, the life we’re living is the life we know, and we cling to the old rather than try something new. Most of us are so sick of ourselves, in one way or another. It’s unbelievable how tenaciously we cling to what we’ve prayed to be released from.” Marianne Williamson, ‘A Return To Love’

Aug 12

There I am, on the left, a year ago. It was my first of 52 weekly doses of Herceptin. Here I am, today, on the right, getting my 52nd dose.


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